Tips on Listening…I mean, REALLY Listening!
You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating: many of us may have taken courses in speech or public speaking – in high school, college or in our professional lives. But none of us – or a rare few – have ever studied listening. So, here are five quick tips to improve the quality of your listening skills:
- Be present – and that means stop talking or thinking about your gym workout after work.
- Listen empathetically – that means put yourself in the other person’s situation. Are they trying to move ahead on a project and need your help? Are they on deadline and need a quick answer? Are they trying to work in the aftermath of a messy break-up? Do they just need someone to listen?
- Send signals that you ARE listening. This means nodding your head when you get it. It also means maintaining eye contact (but this doesn’t mean staring a hole in their forehead). It also means, periodically, interpreting what you think you’ve heard.
- If someone makes an appointment to speak with you, give them your full attention. Don’t multi-task! Don’t take calls. Don’t try to eat lunch while they’re speaking.
- Finally, be aware of your weaknesses as a listener. If you don’t know, ask your friends – and they’ll tell you. Then, begin working to strengthen these weak spots in your listening skills…and practice every chance you get.
Valerie
I invite you to visit my site and read more articles and tips.
I think the world would be a better place if everyone would really ‘listen’ instead of trying to hear.
Jan:
You are right! Adding to this, one of the facts of life today is that many people are addicted to their PDA. Just this week a colleague told me about a client who could hardly carry on an intelligent conversation at lunch because he kept getting “dinged” with messages. Instead of turning it off, he continued to check them out. I call that rude! And unfortunately, there was nothing my colleague could have said graciously to ask him to LISTEN instead of getting so distracted. So the message is – let PDA’s keep us connected, but not keep us from connecting!
Valerie