Finding Alternatives to Traditional Gift-Giving
Taken from a Dallas Morning News interview by Diane Kunde
It was nearly a foolproof way to collect money for the boss’ holiday gift. His admin kept a card in her desk drawer. When you paid your contribution, she smiled, said thanks and opened the drawer so you could sign the card. No money, no signature. Someone at that company remembers that he always contributed during the several years he worked there. And he always felt coerced.
That kind of subtle pressure doesn’t go over anymore. In fact, many companies are downplaying gift-giving—keeping gifts modest or substituting other ways of sharing the holiday spirit.
“I don’t exchange gifts with my boss and vice versa, and I don’t encourage it here. Once it starts, it’s hard to keep the political pressure out of it,” said one employee. When asked what a director for a public relations firm does, he jokingly said “We eat a lot.” He takes his co-workers out for a holiday lunch or attends an all hands company reception.
Personal thought—but minimal expense—appears to be the new norm for internal gifts as well as gifts to clients. People now do cards and personal notes. Tangible gifts are reserved for special client relationships—and even those are of nominal value. An example is a subscription to a fishing magazine, for an executive who loves the sport.
As author of “Do It Right: The New Book of Business Etiquette”, I believe we need to think about not only what you give, but should you give in today’s world. If you’re new to a company, ask your peers what’s done. If they say everyone exchanges, that’s great. But know that before you do something on your own. As a boss, it’s best to treat a group equally in order to emulate teamsmanship and not single out anyone.
One president of a manufacturing company involves employees in one of his favorite causes, Toys for Tots. He has a pot luck party where every employee brings a toy and gets a T-shirt in return. The company also throws in a product they make as a small gift for everyone. It brings together people on different floors who don’t usually see one another.
“Last year we had soufflés, venison meatballs. There were two big buckets of Blue Bell ice cream. Everyone brought a unisex gift that cost no more than $10. There were lottery tickets, a bunch of coffee warmers. The hottest item was a tray so you could have breakfast in bed.”
Another client of mine decorates the headquarters generously with poinsettias, then donates the plants before the holidays to a hospital or other charity.
Make this a joyous holiday for everyone. Use discretion, get others involved and don’t forget the Attitude of Gratitude!
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Valerie
TEchnology OR DIE!
This technology can’t be smarter than I am! Or can it? Remember the hunt-and-peck system? Sure, it ruined my nails and I could not grow them very long (not like now with sculpts that make them stronger than steel.) So simple it used to be, PUSH THE LETTER KEY AND OUT IT COMES ON PAPER. Then—oh the joy of white out and correctable tape. ZIP—my mistakes wiped off the face of the page, never to be found. Not like now, when I rely on spell check and it can’t read my mind, as in, that was NOT the word I meant! And eeeek. I pushed the send button before I had a chance to edit for the perfect message to be sent!
NOW—the nightmare of choices. Hardware, software, flip videos, pads, icons, mouse, scanner, laser, social media—too much for my simple mind.
But wait—I REFUSE to give in to a piece of machinery and outer space. The whole world is computer literate and social media savvy. I MUST, I WILL learn the new language and techniques they SAY will make my business grow and my life easier.
So it is—read the manuals, watch the demo videos and listen for the whistles. Skype it, blog it, tweet it and more. STOP, GO, PAUSE. Turn the page and get up to walk around or I’ll scream. Now my silly computer talks back to me and so does my GPS—more than my children! At least my kids listen to me.
At last—the software is learned. The blog is written. The tweets are retweeted. I AM computer literate—until tomorrow when the NEW versions come out—and what about this iPhone? Obviously, whatever it is—and whatever it can do can wait until tomorrow!
WHEN WILL IT EVER END?
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Valerie
GRATITUDE AFFECTS ATTITUDE
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward
What a great time of the year to think about what we’re grateful for! But alas, how much of our time do we spend thinking of “what’s missing” in our lives?
No, I’m not a pollyanna. I can whine right along with the best of ‘em about how business is down, kids aren’t calling enough, losses in my life, etc, etc. Consider the statistic that only 7% of people who work are fulfilled in their role. Consider the fact that 75% of the messages we hear every day are negative. No wonder it’s so easy to moan and groan – over real things!
After a recent keynote speech, a woman came up to me and said, “ Do you always smile so much? I never see you at this conference without a smile on your face!”
I wasn’t sure where she was going with this comment, so I simply answered her questions! “Well, I’ve certainly had reasons NOT to smile, but I tried throwing a pity party and it didn’t work. I was the only person who came—so it seemed to me that I’d attract more people if I at least kept a pleasant look on my face…and these days I’d rather use fewer facial muscles with a smile than risk getting more wrinkles with a frown.”
This Thanksgiving season, how about considering one thing you can be grateful for each morning before you even get out of bed? It’s not that difficult. How about, “I’m grateful I CAN get out of bed this morning.” You get the picture. Try it and you’ll see why the letters attached to the word ATTITUDE add up to 100 in the alphabet, meaning Attitude IS 100% of everything we do.
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5
Adds up to 100!!!!
Attitude is 100% of everything you do!
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Valerie
Are you socially savvy?
We are well into fall and some of the most exciting events of the year. Are you socially savvy and ready for those conferences, parties, and networking events?
Check it out! Do you…
- Have a clear and short elevator speech memorized?
- Have your business cards at hand everywhere you go?
- Know those people who will attend the event and which ones you want to meet?
- Recognize what value you bring to someone else?
- Plan ahead some conversation starters?
- Determine to keep your mouth shut and let the other person talk?
- Approach those who are standing alone and obviously shy?
- Have a plan to reconnect after the event?
If you are one of the 85% of people who typically do not enjoy being in a room full of strangers, get some tips of how to “do it right” from my best selling book…Do It Right: The New Book of Business Etiquette. Click here to order…and enjoy the social scene. Remember, your brand is showing.
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Valerie
10 VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS—IN 3 SECONDS OR LESS—FOR EVERYBODY
- Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it’s the most difficult thing you can do. But know this—doing the right thing is always right.
- You have no choice about being the role model. The only choice you have is which role you will model.
- The worst type of employer or employee is one who has mentally quit, but is still physically on the job.
- Hang in there and keep the faith. Your defining moment may arrive just when you feel surrounded by adversity.
- The opposite of courage is conformity.
- Here’s the thing about change—the best time to do it is when it seems the least necessary.
- If you want a place in the sun, expect your share of burns and blisters.
- Don’t short-circuit opportunities by limiting your knowledge.
- The best way to earn respect is to help others succeed.
- Winners are people who are committed to keep going long enough to win.
Something to ask yourself and then think about: Are you a “swimmer” or a baby seal, awaiting the inevitable?
Keep moving forward!
Have you ever been stuck before? Whether in your business, an unhealthy relationship, or a dead-end career, being stuck is an absolutely terrible—and helpless—feeling. However, the good news is that nobody needs to keep on being stuck. Here are five hints to get you back on the road to progress and productivity:
Reflect—How and why did you get stuck? Take a few minutes to figure out what put you here and what’s holding you. What decisions did you make or what circumstances got you in this unpleasant place?
Re-assess where you want to be. Envision yourself “unstuck” and what you’d do if you weren’t stuck. Would you act differently? Have other priorities? Reach for higher goals? Think about other feelings being unstuck would bring.
Resolve to let go of whatever got you stuck. Then, make a decision that right now is the last time you’ll allow any situation to get you stuck.
Re-evaluate your actions and time. Think about doing things differently. This may mean not only adjusting your attitude and priorities, but also trying new approaches in problem-solving and taking on new challenges. As long as you repeat the actions that caused you to get stuck, you’ll remain stuck. The great Albert Enstein’s definition of “insanity” was always doing things the same way and expecting different results.
Rejuvenate your confidence and your will to move forward. Getting “unstuck” is taking productive steps and making corrective decisions until you’re no longer in the muck…and the farther you get from whatever slowed you down, you’ll find yourself growing exponentially.
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Valerie
Image in the Work Place
How can have an image that is professional and know what is expected and respected in the environment you are in?
Your professional presence includes three things – your visual image (dress), your appropriate behaviors (business etiquette) and your social savvy (communicating effectively internally and externally to build a powerful network).
As for dress – the simple answer is to dress for your clients…in a way that shows your credibility while at the same time expresses your creativity with color, accessories, etc.
Now add to this the underpinning of creating your own personal brand that differentiates you and ensures more success both personally and professionally. It’s about discovering your unique promise of value and using your strengths to build your business and your relationships.
I’ve always hated programs that tell you to “work on your weaknesses.” I don’t know about you, but I’m more interested in developing my strengths—those things I’m already good at. So one quick tip I got from William Arruda, my mentor in the branding process, is to get out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side put the word Motivate. On the other side put the word Burnout. Now list all the things that you are doing that motivate you and all that cause you distress. Then figure out a way to do more of what motivates you and less of the burnout column. This will help you be happier and more fulfilled.
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Valerie
2010 is Your Year to Bring Fabulosity into Your Life!
I took time at the office over the holidays to clean out dead files, straighten things up and get organized. Along with all that stuff, I’ve reflected on what’s in store in this new year for me and my business.
Okay, it’s 2010…a new year, a clean slate. You’ve probably resolved to get rid of some of your old habits just like me…and are ready to break in new ones. So, it’s the perfect time to tap into one of your most powerful gifts – your ability to create.
I truly believe each one of us is blessed with a combination of gifts and talents that is our unique imprint…our brand. I say “unique” because no other person in the entire universe can make your individual impact on the world.
As I see it, we are all created – perfectly designed – to make a unique difference. But, do we all TRY to make a difference? Some of us make a difference by writing or speaking, leading or following. The biggest job each of us has is to recognize what we are created to do…to contribute to our world.
It may take some of us longer than others to realize the greatness we were put here to achieve…the amazing lives we can experience. But trust me, it’s there and waiting for you to discover.
Here’s the cool part. As we enter 2010, we can set our sights on finding and expressing our unique and creative gift we have to offer to the world. That discovery may come by attending a seminar or volunteering at your favorite charity. It may come from getting involved in your child’s activities or singing in a choir…or taking photographs or serving on a board or committee. Or, we may discover our unique gift by simply giving our best to the work at hand each day.
I love the quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Take the first step in faith.” That means get out there with a purpose. Then watch your creativity unfold into limitless possibilities of purpose, prosperity and power.
If you decide to take this exciting journey, I can assure you…it will change your life and it will also change our world. Why? Because without you, the world would not experience the creative contribution you, alone, are equipped to make.
Remember, we are all here to experience our own unique creative power and through this unique power, we can help others discover and make their own creative contributions.
Sounds exciting, right? Ready, set and watch the miracles unfold!
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Valerie
What’s keeping you from success?
In the late Kurt Vonnegut’s futuristic short story, “Harrison Bergeron,” the country in 2081 had worked so diligently to make everyone equal, deep thinkers wore government-programmed hearing aids that broadcast loud sounds periodically to prevent creative thinking…and those blessed with athletic ability were “equalized” with everyone else by being made to carry 47-lb. bags of birdshot around their necks.
Luckily, in today’s world, people with special skills and abilities are not “handicapped” by the government, but for many of us, there’s always that consistent limitation – that bag of birdshot we carry around with us — that keeps us from moving to the next level.
Of course, many people don’t have any idea about their personal stumbling blocks – which means if they can’t identify it, they can’t do anything about it. But, once they’ve identified what’s keeping them from moving ahead, they need to know what I call “the barrier fact sheet.”
- Everybody has at least one barrier…one deal-breaking hurdle. Some are simply not important – and some you can negate by hiring someone who will keep your barriers – like your penchant for disorganization under control. Others barriers – to self-confidence, self-control and the ability to foster meaningful relationships – may not be so easy to knock down.
- You can’t remove barriers you don’t or won’t recognize. Your barriers set your boundaries. They mark the bottom and the ceiling. We’re sometimes not willing to recognize these barriers – these handicaps – but we also tend to hang on to those that we really should let go of – like stubbornness or the inability to let go…of anything.
- Our barriers exist 24/7, not just in our business world. Notice when you don’t delegate certain chores because you think you can do them better than anyone else…or what about how you demand – rather than ask – that jobs get done…now!
- Our barriers can be helpful or harmful. Our behaviors – positive and negative – impact every part of our lives, but these constant behaviors cause problems only when they get between us and our goals. For example, a competitive spirit is beneficial in sports or team challenges…not so much in relationships or social settings.
- Those who live with the least barriers cross the finish line first! Look around you. It may not be the most talented or the hardest workers who win awards, recognition or promotions. It’s always those who live with the fewest barriers to success.
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Valarie
