FMG Journal
I work with a company that doesn't seem to recognize my earnest desire to move ahead. I put in more hours than required and always give each assignment my best effort. Instead of my boss recognizing these endeavors, he simply gives me added responsibility with very little comment. What should I do? My emotional reactions range from anger to resentment to hurt. We all like to be patted on the back from time to time, or is that wrong?
First, I personally would like to commend you on your obvious degree of conscientious effort. You are an ambitious person who will move ahead-- even if you don't feel your boss appreciates your efforts. The very fact that he continues to give you additional responsibility leads me to think he doesn't realize your potential. Some bosses aren't as verbal as others. Giving you more and more to accomplish may be his way of judging your competency level. If you come to the point where you feel it is time to receive a promotion, it is perfectly legitimate to ask him for that opportunity. Be ready to accept the answer... be it yes or no. Then, you can decide whether to stay on or move on. Good luck. You're a winner and don't you forget it!
The next question was a result of the list of nine traits of building friendships. I've listed them again below.
Top Nine Traits for Building Rapport
- 1. Go out of your way to help other people.
- Be dependable in doing what you say you will do.
- Be tolerant; do not criticize people for doing things you dislike.
- Do not attempt to dominate people.
- Don't show off your knowledge.
- Do not act and feel as if you are superior to your associates.
- Be honest; do not exaggerate in your statements.
- Do not be sarcastic.
- Do not make fun of people.
Valerie, I try to do these things and feel people take me for granted. How does one practice these nine traits and not be taken for granted? I have tried most of these traits, but always end up being taken for granted instead of being appreciated.
Thank you for your letter of inquiry in relation to the nine traits for rapport. In the society in which we live, people are usually hurrying about in a fast-paced mode. The lack of caring for the interest of others often amazes me. It is unfortunate that you have tried to show concern and consideration and feel it is not appreciated. You, however, have the choice to make. Either continue to be sincere and honest in dealing with others, even if they don't seem to respond as you expect or turn bitter and retreat if they don't appreciate you. May I encourage you to keep on keeping on. You will be blessed for it in the long run and the long-term rewards will be a much more satisfying and pleasurable life.